Friday, April 2, 2010

Week 12 - omg, I'm ENORMOUS!

*Disclaimer: This post talks heavily about woman troubles. Men, if you're sensitive to that kind of thing - you've been warned.*

So I started this week off really good. I had a really positive attitude. I was sure that my week ending blog was going to be on how happy I am with my results. I got into my goal jeans 2 weeks before my deadline. I remember how putting my hands on my hips felt different because there was significantly less flab there. I'm starting to win my battle with my massive thighs - I can even look at them in the mirror and consider them thinner. When I feel my legs, I feel the muscle and a lot less flab. It felt like I was finally making progress!

Then - it hit, my monthly gift from mother nature. Now I have to say - I used to not have too much trouble in this dept. I had one day of mild cramps that could be cured with midol and I was good to go. Those mild cramps turned into severe cramps that could be dulled with midol and cardio. That then turned into 2 days of cramping....then one day of nausea plus one day of cramps. This week: 4 days of nausea - I felt like I had to throw up all day long kind of nausea and 2 days of why-do-women-have-children-if-it-hurts-worse-than-this cramping. Midol did nothing to help.

In addition to this, I also incorporated Shakeology into my diet this week. It's a meal replacement mix that you're supposed to take once a day. I was trying to experiment with different things I could mix it with this week so I was having two a day. And on top of that - I'm trying to reduce my carb intake. I did not realize until I tried to reduce them what a carb monster I am. Especially on my period. Now - because I had two meal replacement shakes a day, that brought my calorie count down a little bit. But because I binged on every carb in sight when my period struck - that brought it back up. So, while I didn't really exceed my daily calorie allowance by too much - many of those calories came from potato chips, chocolate and golden double stuff oreos - OH MY GOD they are so good!!! They are seriously like crack, I can't stay away! Ahhh! I did manage to get my daily workouts in, though I fell a day behind due to curling up in bed in the fetal position on the first day the nausea hit.

And all this week, I felt like I looked HUGE! Even on the days that I was wearing my most recent pairs of goal jeans, i.e. the smallest jeans I own. My belly in the mirror just looked massive. And bellies have nothing to do with period bloat. I'm talking a huge gut. "How do I manage to stuff this body into a size 6 and size S workout pants? That can't be right. My belly is gigantic!!!" The GOOD thing is that I've been in training. I've been working on myself and my attitude over these past 12 weeks. And so, even while I thought these things - I was able to tell myself "think about how ridiculous what you're thinking is. You're WEARING a size small right now. You did not gain a pound in a day. Or 2 days. One pound =3,500 calories and even with chip bingeing you've had far less than half of that today. Stop being crazy." And so that's what I did. I banished all negative thoughts to the "you're on your period and not thinking clearly" bin and continued on with my week.

I don't know what the results of my bingeing mishaps will be. But I'm not gonna beat myself up. I won't say "hey - it's totally ok, you were on your period!" because that's just an excuse. I really could've resisted if I planned better and exercised my willpower. But it's ok to make mistakes. It's ok to live and learn. This is a lifestyle change and not a timed race. If you trip, you just get back up and keep going. One more week on the X...then we bring on the Insanity!

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