Wednesday, March 23, 2011

I'm Only Human

I can be a bit of an emotional eater at times. For me, controlling my eating is similar to how I control my emotions. I try not to get bent out of shape over small things. I allow myself to be upset for a little bit - and then I move past it. I also try not to react with a bad attitude to most things and try to calmly think things through and look at the positive side. But after a while of doing this, I always have a breaking point. There's always a moment where I get tired of being rational and just need to let it out in the form of crying or yelling. But usually crying.

I'm in the same boat with cheating on my diet. For the most part, I can talk myself out of straying from eating the right things. But after a certain amount of times talking myself out of it and a certain number of issues arising in my life - I lose it and eat something that is not-so-diet friendly. This week, I was beyond frustrated with my computer. Technology and I already are not the best of friends. If you glance at the previous post, I have a 30 day video series to send to my subscribers. Well, both my webcam and editing software decided that they no longer wanted to be civil to me at all and stopped being cooperative. After the first 24 hours of trying to edit a video to no avail - I hit my first breaking point with the crying. After the following 24 hours (we're at 48 total now) I hit my second breaking point of carbs. Then finally, after 72 hours ~ I absolutely decided that I deserved chocolate. I mean, seriously you have no idea how many times I had to watch myself on video saying the same thing over and over and over to re-edit the same video. I like me, but c'mon.
So, what's my reaction to my carb and chocolate cheats? What would YOUR reaction be? I know a lot of people beat themselves up over this kind of thing and allow it to lead to a downward slope of eating badly for days and feeling down on themselves. That's completely pointless. Yes - I ate some things I shouldn't have. Yes - I skipped a couple of workouts to be glued to my computer and trying to fix this problem for 3 days straight. No - I am not going to make myself feel bad for it. It's called LIFE and it happens. No one is spot on with their diet and workout routine every single second of every single day. Do I wish I would have handled things differently? Absolutely, but it's something I can learn from. I can know that next time - I can't let what's  important to me suffer because of something else that's important to me. It has to be in balance. I got my chocolate and carb fix and I will try to at least balance it out with some extra workouts this week. Not the same as eating clean, but it will make me feel a little better.

I'm only human, and sometimes - I need chocolate. It's not the end of the world and I'm not going to gain 5lbs. tomorrow. I also don't have to let it be the beginning of a llloooonnnggg eating binge. It was one day and one bar of chocolate. And now it's done. I'm moving forward. Allowing yourself to make mistakes and committing yourself to learning from them is all a part of the process.

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