What YOU Want

Because of my interests, I've amassed a large amount of social media contacts in the fitness field. Some of them more knowledgeable than others, and many of them, like me, still figuring things out. A lot of these people can be very intense at times. They set very lofty goals and go full throttle after them. That's great. I have nothing against people attacking their dreams with all they have. It's important to remember though that their goals and their methods to achieve them are just that - theirs.

I am bombarded daily with posts about double workouts, number of calories burned, number of calories eaten, temptation foods avoided, clean diet modifications and motivational sayings. I constantly see pictures of women with flat and defined abs, very little body fat, big boobs, tight butts, toned arms, glowing skin and shiny hair. Every day I read about the newest supplement, the newest diet, going gluten free, eating organic, plant based diets and cleansing. And admittedly, I'm a part of this. I talk about this stuff frequently as well. So I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with these sort of posts - there's not. But when it's the majority of what you see every day, it can definitely start to warp your thinking.  It just leads me to remind everyone, including myself to

Make sure the body you're working to achieve is the body that YOU want. 

At least once a day, I will see someone post a motivational picture of a woman with toned-to-the-T abs. You can see each and every defined section of her stomach and it looks as though her waist is actually too tiny to wear even a size 0. And that's wonderful that she worked to achieve that body and completely fine that someone else wants to work to achieve the same results. Personally, I don't want defined abs. I like a softer look on women. I like the look of being toned but still having a little fat to squeeze. That's my preference. I can't let what other people see as the perfect body affect how I feel about my own results.

 

   All of these tummies look great to me!



For those people who have the time, energy and willpower to do two-a-day workouts - that's amazing. I've done it for short periods of time before and it is certainly tough. My hat goes off to that kind of dedication. But just because they are down on themselves for not getting to their second workout of the day, I'm not going to feel bad that I worked out once. For 30 minutes. And that I may not get to a workout tomorrow because I have work and have school for 14 hours out of the day and sleeping is more important to me than cardio. It doesn't make me a bad person if I only do 5 workouts a week and if I think that that is a perfectly fine number of workouts to complete on a weekly basis. It also doesn't make me a bad person if I decide that instead of lifting today, I'm going to stay home and study for my test on Friday because at the moment, that is a bigger priority for me. And that's ok, it's allowed to be.

When it comes to achieving your perfect body, it does not need to be what other people think it should be. It should be where YOU will be happiest. If getting down to a size 10 has been your lifelong goal and you are in a healthy weight range with a clean bill of health from your doctor, then who the hell is anyone to tell you that you don't look good enough? Not everyone was made to be a body builder and it's not in the cards for all of us to have a washboard stomach. Is it possible? Yes. Of course if that's what you want to achieve and are willing to work for, it's definitely possible. Is it necessary? No, it's not. Not if that's not what you in your heart of hearts want for yourself.

Thank God we live in America. A free country. Where you're allowed to want what you want and feel what you feel and for the most part do what you like. If you want abs, go get 'em. If you just want to drop a few pounds, then lose 'em. If your idea of fit doesn't "fit" with what everyone else seems to think, so long as it fits with your medical stats, then eff 'em.

Bubble Girl

I function in a bubble. I have a set routine that makes it easy to stick to eating clean and working out because I do things the same way all the time. I have set hours that I'm at work, based around those hours - I have set meal times and a set time to work out. I go food shopping on the same day of the week every week and I prep my meals on the weekends. Organization and routine is basically what I thrive on and I get extremely upset when that routine is disturbed. I am as far from spontaneous as you can get. In fact, most of my friends know that when they want me to hang out or do something with them - I need a minimum of a week's notice. I need to be able to put it in my schedule and still plan around it. And if they think I'm going out every single weekend, that's just not happening. I actually get a lot of things done on the weekends and I just can't spend each one doing things that aren't in line with my goals and priorities. Eating out and drinking every weekend when you're trying to lose weight and save money is just not a smart move.

Well, this weekend was one of my few-and-far-between outings. A friend of mine will be moving to another country soon and she had her going away party about 3 hours away from where I live. This meant it would be an overnight excursion and a definite change in my routine. When I plan these events into my schedule - I place them in as a planned cheat meal. Since I only do it about once a month, I don't feel bad about letting loose with friends. So, at least that part's taken care of. But, I also realized a few things.

I don't particularly care what people have to say about how I look or dress. Most days, I'm in workout gear because it's easier to have it on and ready for my workouts. But after my workout was done and I was ready to head out, I wondered for a moment if I was appropriately dressed for the public. Once again - not that I care, but there are so few times that I'm actually going out to socialize with people - it felt very strange to get dressed not for an event, and not for working out - but just to go see people that I knew. I wore leggings, a tank top and boots. An overall very form fitting ensemble. I was actually really proud of how I looked because a few years ago, there was no way that this is how this particular ensemble would have looked on me.

And suddenly it dawned on me - THIS was what all the work I'd been doing in my bubble was for. This is why I spend so much of my time sticking to my routine and working hard. So that on the occasions where I DO come out of my bubble - I can feel this happy and confident about all I've done. So I can wear what I want and feel good about it. So I can have some drinks with friends and going away party cake and not beat myself up for it. THIS is the reason for the bubble.

It kind of helped me remember to not get too wrapped up in this weight loss thing. If you put too much focus on it, it will make you crazy. I mean, what's the point in doing all this work if you don't get to show it off? It's fun coming out of the bubble once in a while, so long as you don't let it completely derail your progress. I definitely indulged more than I should have this weekend, and perhaps that's because I'm not out of my bubble often enough. But that's something I can learn from and work on. I'm back on track now, so once again - it's no reason to freak out. This journey is all about living and learning and trying - not being perfect.

The Keys To My Weight Loss Success

So many people ask me questions about my weight loss success. What did you do? How do you get motivated? Where do I start? What do I eat?

The answers to these questions really aren't that complicated. At least not for me. My motivation? Simple. I don't want to be fat ever again. I want to look in the mirror and like what I see. That's all the motivation I need. Where to start? Just start. You know the basics - start with that. Stop eating crap. Now. Stop buying crap to eat. Workout. Do any workout -  it doesn't matter which one. Do something rather than nothing.

The bigger question is - how? Here are my essentials - the things that I know I must do for success.

1) DO THE WORK
I don't have a problem with complaining. I complain all the time. But you earn the right to complain by putting in the work. You don't get to complain about how hard it is or how inconvenient it is unless you're doing it. If you're too lazy to make an effort - then stay fat and shut up about it. Don't complain if you're not putting in effort. What's the work?

Work out 6 days a week.
Log what you eat - all of it.
Eat clean. Cheat minimally. Don't dwell on the cheat - move on.

That's really it. That's the core of it. Learn to master these things and you'll see results. You don't have to perfect right out the gate. I've done this for a decade and I'm still not perfect. Just do your best and keep making your best better. Don't wanna log your food? Don't wanna work out? Fine - don't. But stop complaining that you can't lose weight.

2) LEARN & GROW
You know what cutting carbs did for me? Nothing. Jack squat. My body was not impressed. You know what eating from the top two tiers of Michi's Ladder did for me? I lost 5 lbs. Learn what works for your body by trying it. You can't gauge your own success by someone else's. You are not them. Don't wish you were, just find out what works for you. If one diet and one workout worked for every body - there wouldn't be so many different ones to choose from. Find what works for YOU. But don't just try one thing then give up. Don't be lazy.

3) DO NOT QUIT
Losing weight isn't easy and results don't happen overnight. If this were the case - then no one would have weight problems. If I stopped trying just because I didn't see results quickly - I wouldn't be where I am. If you really want to see results - you have to keep going. Getting fit is not something you do for a while and then you're done forever. IT'S A LIFESTYLE CHANGE. You have to know what's helpful for your body and what's harmful. I'm not gonna lie - I still love me some french fries and pizza and chicken nuggets. I know the bad crap that's in fast food and I find it delicious anyway. However, I can count on one hand the number of times I'll actually get fast food in the course of a month ... a few months at that. A year's time - that's probably both hands. Point is - it's not as often as it used to be.

Bottom line is - JUST TRY. Make an effort. Don't talk about it, be about it. Get off your butt, and do what you know you need to. Once you start and see the fruits of your labor - it makes it easier to continue because you'll want to continue seeing the results! Make a plan. What can you do right now that will put you on a better path? Need help? Send me a message and we'll make a plan together!

xoxo,
Sweet Charity

Nobody's Perfect

Too many people have this idea in their head that if they can't hit their diet and exercise PERFECTLY, then there's no point in doing it all. I don't really understand this mentality at all, but there are so many people who feel this way. I have some friends who say:

Well, since I ate so poorly today - I didn't see the point in working out.

And then there's people who get so down on themselves because they slipped up and ate something bad, that they completely tank their whole diet because of ONE slip up:

I was doing so well, but then I had french fries and then 3 scoops of ice cream, and the next day I had a burger and I just couldn't stop eating bad stuff!

People also beat themselves up about working out:

I only did 30 minutes in the gym today. I'll never be thin :(

I didn't get to my workout today, what is wrong with me?!?

If any of these people sound like you at one time or another, this is my plea to you to

STOP!

Stop beating yourself up for little mistakes.
Stop thinking that just because you didn't do it perfectly, it doesn't count.
Stop expecting yourself to change overnight.
Stop expecting to see results in a matter of days - that's not realistic.
STOP being negative, period!

If you have a negative mentality towards any aspect of diet or exercise - it increases the likelihood that you will fail. You can not beat yourself up over every little thing. People who are fit and lead healthy lifestyles didn't get that way by being perfect. They got that way by being consistent. They did not let small setbacks completely de-reail them from reaching their goals. If you eat poorly one day - SO WHAT?! You know that you ate poorly - that doesn't mean that one day has to turn into one week and one month. It was one day of your life. MOVE ON. You recognize the bad behavior, you learn from it and then you change it. And when you do slip up and eat poorly - that is all the more reason to work out!!! You need to try to cancel out as many calories as you can. Even if the result of that workout won't be a drop in pounds, at least it will help you from gaining weight which would be a step in the wrong direction.

Life happens. Sometimes you just won't be able to resist that piece of cake. Sometime, you won't be prepared and you'll buy fast food. Sometime - you just won't have time to get to your workout. These are all normal things that you should not feel horrible about. What you should do - is pay attention to why it happened, and plan to not let it happen again. Could you have prepared your lunch the night before so that you had it to take with you instead of buying fast food? If you scheduled your workout in your day the way you schedule work and schedule watching your favorite TV, would you have missed it?

Think positively and speak positively to yourself. Pep-talk yourself! If it's not something you would say to your best friend in the world, you shouldn't say it to yourself. Would you ever tell your BFF - you're such an idiot! I can't believe you did that! ? Then don't say it to you. Instead, say to yourself - ok, I'm definitely gonna do some extra cardio to make up for that slice of cake! Or, I am absolutely packing and bringing my lunch tomorrow!

Nobody's perfect. No one gets it right 100% of the time. But if you shoot for 100% consistently, I guarantee you'll at least land in the 90th percentile. This week alone, I've gone off my eating plan - twice! Did I beat myself up over it? Absolutely not. Did I adjust my weekly calorie intake around it AND do a few extra workouts? You bet I did. And if it results in a slight setback for me this week - then that's the price I'll have to pay. I'll learn from the experience, and figure out a better way to resist the temptation the next time. I'm not gonna stop working out and I'm not gonna pig out and eat everything in sight. I'm going to stick to my clean eating plan and daily workouts because that consistency is what has led to lasting weight loss for me. It's not being perfect every step of the way that gets you results, it's continuing on your journey - no matter what that will get you there.

xoxo,
 Sweet Charity

Maybe It's All In My Head

(original post date:April 21, 2010)

So I've been wondering if all of my weight loss progress is all in my head. Maybe I wasn't that big to begin with? Maybe I haven't lost as much weight as I thought? Do I have body dysmorphia? Because I can still see where there's a lot of work to be done, yet other people keep telling me I'm small. I look at pictures and I can definitely see progress, but I still see what I need to work on. Is all the progress I'm seeing in my head too?

My friend was telling me a story about being at a ball game and seeing a girl there with her muffin top on full display. She was wearing jeans that were too tight, and a cropped shirt, literally putting her muffin top on display. The thought of this horrified me. I have never, ever been one to let my stomach show when it shouldn't. Even when you have a shirt that's a little short and your belly pokes out a little bit - that drives me crazy if you're not fit enough to get away with it. My jeans are (were) always strategically placed so as to avoid any muffin toppage. And since I was young - I've sucked my stomach in when in public. Always. It's to the point that I don't even realize I'm doing it. When I try to take true measurements, I have to make an effort to be sure I'm NOT sucking in. Anytime there is fabric touching my stomach, my reflex is to suck my stomach in. I figure that's why I'm so good at doing ab exercises - my life is one big ab-crunch.

So it occurred to me, maybe it's not that I have a lack of progress - it's that I've hidden what my true body looks like for so long - people can't tell the difference! Now - I don't have to strategically place my jeans because my muffin top is no where near as noticeable. I can just let my waistband sit where it may. But you wouldn't know that unless you're me. I hid the muffin top before so you didn't know it was there. Now I'm not hiding, cuz it's not there - but how would you know the difference? It's the same way that people keep telling me I don't need breast implants. That's because what you see daily as a full B cup is really an elaborate set up of me double-padded-bra-ing under every outfit I wear. It would be nice to not have to put on a show in that arena anymore too.

I think because so much of my life is focused on weight loss, it seems strange to me that other people don't seem to notice. But most of these people - I see every day. They may not necessarily notice because they see me day-to-day as opposed to seeing just my start and end results. I think people also get a set picture of you in their head and then believe that that is how you SHOULD look (unless you're morbidly obese). I have people telling me all the time that if I get any smaller, I wouldn't look right. That sounds completely ridiculous to me! It's not like I'm at Lindsay Lohan or Nicole Ritchie status. Being too thin because you don't eat is not the same as being so fit that you have a low body fat percentage. Personally - I think I'd look kick-ass at a size 2, though that is not my goal. I don't care what size I am so long as the body fat issue is under control. I could go on and on about this particular subject, and I will...in another blog.

I think the point is that change is gradual. And for those who see it as it's happening, they tend to forget where you started and only remember what they've seen recently. Unless it's someone whose close to you - like family. They tend to remember only where you started and compare you to that constantly. So, to them you may be "too thin" simply because they're used to you being so fat. I'm glad I know what my goal is. I know what I'm doing, what I'm doing it for and what I want the end result to be. I notice my progress and I appreciate the changes and really - that's all that matters.

xoxo,
Sweet Charity