You're Allowed To Feel Good About Yourself For No Reason At All

        It's funny that I always seem to have my "skinny days" on the days leading up to that time of the month. You know a skinny day - when for no particular reason at all, you are just feeling like "hey, maybe I'm not such a whale after all!" Well, I noticed something interesting on my most recent "skinny day." I walked past a mirror (not even a skinny mirror) and thought "Wow, I look better than I expected considering I ate oreo ice cream last night. Wonder if I'm actually losing weight or if I just dressed well today. I should get on the scale to see...."

        Seriously people? Am I the only one? I know I'm not. WTF is wrong with us? Honestly, re-read that situation and really take a moment to think about the nonsense thinking that can happen inside our heads. I looked in the mirror, I felt good about what I saw - but somehow needed to validate that I was allowed to feel that way by backing it up with proof. It wasn't enough to just feel great about myself. Nope. Only allowed to feel good if you actually lost a pound! Not to mention that I was probably heavier than normal due to my impending menstruation. Most likely bloated too. However, I clearly didn't FEEL that way at that moment. I felt great! So why was my first thought that I HAD to verify that by checking the facts?

       It is so easy to make getting fit a numbers game. Counting calories, measuring inches, pounds on the scale... these are all important aspects, but why are they the end all be all? News flash: they aren't. Having a skinny day and feeling great about yourself is an awesome accomplishment in and of itself. It doesn't need to be proven by numbers on a scale or a tape measure. I am learning now to appreciate my "skinny days" and just be happy that I'm in a place where I feel good about myself more often than I feel like a whale. And no, I don't need anything outside of myself to validate that feeling - and neither do you.

xoxo,
 Sweet C

Nobody's Perfect

Too many people have this idea in their head that if they can't hit their diet and exercise PERFECTLY, then there's no point in doing it all. I don't really understand this mentality at all, but there are so many people who feel this way. I have some friends who say:

Well, since I ate so poorly today - I didn't see the point in working out.

And then there's people who get so down on themselves because they slipped up and ate something bad, that they completely tank their whole diet because of ONE slip up:

I was doing so well, but then I had french fries and then 3 scoops of ice cream, and the next day I had a burger and I just couldn't stop eating bad stuff!

People also beat themselves up about working out:

I only did 30 minutes in the gym today. I'll never be thin :(

I didn't get to my workout today, what is wrong with me?!?

If any of these people sound like you at one time or another, this is my plea to you to

STOP!

Stop beating yourself up for little mistakes.
Stop thinking that just because you didn't do it perfectly, it doesn't count.
Stop expecting yourself to change overnight.
Stop expecting to see results in a matter of days - that's not realistic.
STOP being negative, period!

If you have a negative mentality towards any aspect of diet or exercise - it increases the likelihood that you will fail. You can not beat yourself up over every little thing. People who are fit and lead healthy lifestyles didn't get that way by being perfect. They got that way by being consistent. They did not let small setbacks completely de-reail them from reaching their goals. If you eat poorly one day - SO WHAT?! You know that you ate poorly - that doesn't mean that one day has to turn into one week and one month. It was one day of your life. MOVE ON. You recognize the bad behavior, you learn from it and then you change it. And when you do slip up and eat poorly - that is all the more reason to work out!!! You need to try to cancel out as many calories as you can. Even if the result of that workout won't be a drop in pounds, at least it will help you from gaining weight which would be a step in the wrong direction.

Life happens. Sometimes you just won't be able to resist that piece of cake. Sometime, you won't be prepared and you'll buy fast food. Sometime - you just won't have time to get to your workout. These are all normal things that you should not feel horrible about. What you should do - is pay attention to why it happened, and plan to not let it happen again. Could you have prepared your lunch the night before so that you had it to take with you instead of buying fast food? If you scheduled your workout in your day the way you schedule work and schedule watching your favorite TV, would you have missed it?

Think positively and speak positively to yourself. Pep-talk yourself! If it's not something you would say to your best friend in the world, you shouldn't say it to yourself. Would you ever tell your BFF - you're such an idiot! I can't believe you did that! ? Then don't say it to you. Instead, say to yourself - ok, I'm definitely gonna do some extra cardio to make up for that slice of cake! Or, I am absolutely packing and bringing my lunch tomorrow!

Nobody's perfect. No one gets it right 100% of the time. But if you shoot for 100% consistently, I guarantee you'll at least land in the 90th percentile. This week alone, I've gone off my eating plan - twice! Did I beat myself up over it? Absolutely not. Did I adjust my weekly calorie intake around it AND do a few extra workouts? You bet I did. And if it results in a slight setback for me this week - then that's the price I'll have to pay. I'll learn from the experience, and figure out a better way to resist the temptation the next time. I'm not gonna stop working out and I'm not gonna pig out and eat everything in sight. I'm going to stick to my clean eating plan and daily workouts because that consistency is what has led to lasting weight loss for me. It's not being perfect every step of the way that gets you results, it's continuing on your journey - no matter what that will get you there.

xoxo,
 Sweet Charity

Maybe It's All In My Head

(original post date:April 21, 2010)

So I've been wondering if all of my weight loss progress is all in my head. Maybe I wasn't that big to begin with? Maybe I haven't lost as much weight as I thought? Do I have body dysmorphia? Because I can still see where there's a lot of work to be done, yet other people keep telling me I'm small. I look at pictures and I can definitely see progress, but I still see what I need to work on. Is all the progress I'm seeing in my head too?

My friend was telling me a story about being at a ball game and seeing a girl there with her muffin top on full display. She was wearing jeans that were too tight, and a cropped shirt, literally putting her muffin top on display. The thought of this horrified me. I have never, ever been one to let my stomach show when it shouldn't. Even when you have a shirt that's a little short and your belly pokes out a little bit - that drives me crazy if you're not fit enough to get away with it. My jeans are (were) always strategically placed so as to avoid any muffin toppage. And since I was young - I've sucked my stomach in when in public. Always. It's to the point that I don't even realize I'm doing it. When I try to take true measurements, I have to make an effort to be sure I'm NOT sucking in. Anytime there is fabric touching my stomach, my reflex is to suck my stomach in. I figure that's why I'm so good at doing ab exercises - my life is one big ab-crunch.

So it occurred to me, maybe it's not that I have a lack of progress - it's that I've hidden what my true body looks like for so long - people can't tell the difference! Now - I don't have to strategically place my jeans because my muffin top is no where near as noticeable. I can just let my waistband sit where it may. But you wouldn't know that unless you're me. I hid the muffin top before so you didn't know it was there. Now I'm not hiding, cuz it's not there - but how would you know the difference? It's the same way that people keep telling me I don't need breast implants. That's because what you see daily as a full B cup is really an elaborate set up of me double-padded-bra-ing under every outfit I wear. It would be nice to not have to put on a show in that arena anymore too.

I think because so much of my life is focused on weight loss, it seems strange to me that other people don't seem to notice. But most of these people - I see every day. They may not necessarily notice because they see me day-to-day as opposed to seeing just my start and end results. I think people also get a set picture of you in their head and then believe that that is how you SHOULD look (unless you're morbidly obese). I have people telling me all the time that if I get any smaller, I wouldn't look right. That sounds completely ridiculous to me! It's not like I'm at Lindsay Lohan or Nicole Ritchie status. Being too thin because you don't eat is not the same as being so fit that you have a low body fat percentage. Personally - I think I'd look kick-ass at a size 2, though that is not my goal. I don't care what size I am so long as the body fat issue is under control. I could go on and on about this particular subject, and I will...in another blog.

I think the point is that change is gradual. And for those who see it as it's happening, they tend to forget where you started and only remember what they've seen recently. Unless it's someone whose close to you - like family. They tend to remember only where you started and compare you to that constantly. So, to them you may be "too thin" simply because they're used to you being so fat. I'm glad I know what my goal is. I know what I'm doing, what I'm doing it for and what I want the end result to be. I notice my progress and I appreciate the changes and really - that's all that matters.

xoxo,
Sweet Charity