Monday, September 27, 2010

What Muffin Top?

For the 3 people out there who don't know what a "muffin top" is when referring to a woman's body shape - let me quickly explain. The way modern jeans are designed, the waistband doesn't actually fit anywhere near a woman's waist. It actually sits somewhere below her belly button. Now the waist - that would make sense - it's a natural place in our bodies where our shape curves inward - the middle of the hourglass, if you will. But no - jeans are designed to hit in the middle of our belly fat where there is no natural indentation. So, in the case that you have EXCESS belly fat, splitting it through the middle with a pair of jeans results in fat spilling over the top, very similar to the way the top of a muffin "spills" over the top of it's paper cup holder. Thus the muffin top analogy.
Muffin Top
Now - most people don't even realize that I have a muffin top, but do not be fooled. I was a fat child and an even fatter teenager. If you think that I don't know how to disguise my body so that the public only sees what I want them to see, you are so, so wrong. I have been TRAINED. I suck in all day, every day. That is not a joke or an exaggeration. As a reflex action, my belly sucks itself in the second cloth of any kind touches it. I can strategically place padding, belts, shirts, jackets - you name it - to make my boobs look bigger and my body look smaller. Trust me, ya'll have no idea what I got goin' on! My muffin top is one of my BIGGEST foes in the battle for weight loss. Let me tell you, it is a pain in the butt trying to disguise it in some of my cutest outfits. And of course, my lower belly and thighs are the last places I lose weight, so I've been trying to obliterate this muffin top for years.

The office I work in has mirrors everywhere. On a normal day, I'm adjusting my outfit a bajillion times to make sure said muffin top is not jumping out and scaring people. On this particular fall day - I'm wearing a little jacket that was sent to me c/o one Chalene Johnson. (Love her.) I'm still getting used to the fact that it's a small and it actually zips on me without me suffocating. I didn't notice until today, but because of my body shape - the bottom of the jacket tends to ride up a little bit and rest on my muffin to...

Are you there muffin top? It's me, SweetC.
Wait a second. The jacket rests where my "muffin top" is usually bulging, but today - there's no bulge. I mean, there's still more there than I would like, but it's not spilling out of my clothing. I didn't even think about the fact that when I got dressed this morning, I did not have to strategically position my tights to be sure the muffin top was being controlled. Yes, those are TIGHTS - not pants.

So it looks as though my hard work is paying off. Who knew?

Keep workin' people, it pays off.

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