Week 5 - "Former Fat Girls, We're Made of Steel. And Splenda."

(quoted from Bride Wars)
One of the toughest things about being super comitted to losing weight is all you have to give up, and the people who don't get it. I can't resist temptation. Seriously - I suck at it. It's much, much easier to just not put the temptation in front of me. So naturally, I don't buy any foods that would be detrimental to my diet. Even if I want a little piece of chocolate, I can't go buy a bag of chocolates because - well, then I've got a bag of temptation. On this same token, sometimes it's easier to stay home and not hang out with friends. What if I get hungry? What if I want a drink? If I just stay home, I can avoid these temptations. It can be lonely going after what you want.

What's even harder is that most people just don't get it. If you have never been TRULY overweight (food babies do not count) then it's hard to understand the level of commitment some people give to losing weight. I'll admit, it sounds crazy. It sounds like I'm going to extremes. I eat from a limited list of foods, workout twice a day and am only allowed to stray from my diet once a week. And currently, I'm not drinking alcohol - though that one won't be lasting long. Sometimes, I have to turn down hanging out if it compromises my workout or my diet. No, I can't skip my workout this time and no, I can't have just one slice of pizza. It seems so harmless - just one workout? Not even a little piece of pizza?!

If it seems like these little detours would be ok, you've obviously never had to lose a great amount of weight. I've lost 50lbs from my heaviest weight. It's hard to remember that sometimes because I've been fighting so hard to get to my goal, I forget how far I've come. But that has taken me ten years. Ten years of dieting and working out, of being hard core and losing focus. Ten years is a long time to work for this people, I wanna be done! And for that to happen, I have to step my game up and focus. I have to have a clean diet and I have to stay faithful to my workout schedule because quite frankly, if I don't lose this weight soon, I'm going to lose my mind!

So far, 3 pounds down on a super focused diet/workout program.